The Tangled Webs We Weave
by LilitRiordain
Summary: [Claude x OC] All they know is the legend, the darkness. They don't know the inner beauty, the warmth and the joy more intense than anything I ever thought was possible to experience... ...Beginnings, and futures...
1. Prologue and Title: Love is the Reason

**The Tangled Webs We Weave**

**Written by: **

**The Demon, the Phantom, and the Human.**

**Dedication****:**

To my Luci, my secret love, and my forever love. This will be a reminder that our love is undying, written into a forever trapped within these pages...these pages of a love, that has always been more than love. Listen close, because every word is for you, because until the very end, I am yours. I love you always.

**Disclaimer:**

I do not claim or own the rights to Black Butler. Black Butler is a magnificent creation by the wonderful Yana Toboso. However, my story is comprised almost completely of original content. If you don't like/have never seen Black Butler, give it a go anyway, I've tried very hard to make this story stand on it's own! I am very proud and very attached to this particular story. It is very close to my heart, and my very soul- as are Claude, Luci, and Lilith. So please, comments are more than welcome. I've recently added a Facebook page for the story, which you can find here: [/The-Tangled-Webs-We-Weave-A-Black-Butler-Fan-Fiction/1567138066877962]

I will be doing my best to update it with many Claude-isms, as well as story updates~ please join me! We can talk!

**Prologue: Love is My Reason****:**

The day I met her, it rained. Every time she came rolling in, like a thunderstorm, to my life...it rained again.

When it came to her, there was no in between. Without her, there was an endless drought, an unquenchable, insatiable thirst, killing me slowly, and emptying me of my very soul.

With her, it poured, never such a thing as an ordinary storm. The rain she brought with her was like kerosene, drenching me and lighting a fire within my very soul. And God, I wanted to burn.

Through the years, everything about us changed. Colors faded: green to golden. Lands reshaped and split, and the world in its entirety changed. What was once a mighty empire and the foundation of my very beginning stood as no more than sentimental rubble.

Still, two souls so perfectly entwined never break. I wished they would. I wished I could believe my own words, consoling me, hoping with threads that should have broken long ago that things had changed.

I should start at the beginning, as most stories do start...though, which beginning, truth be told, I'm not entirely certain. For most, there is but one beginning, starting with a birth and ending with a death. For me, every time I am called is a new beginning, a new taste of life.

In each of my beginnings, I am given a new name...the most common being 'devil', 'fiend', and 'demon'. These words define what I am, though not who. I was once a human as well, as many of my kind were, though they don't remember much of life before. I suppose that's because they weren't given a reason to, as I was. Love is reason, irrational and illogical. The brain tells you what to do, and your heart tells you what you're going to do anyway. And when someone else has your heart, you're a puppet. You may become old, and forgotten, but you're still attached...and nothing is quite as brutal a reminder as when the master yanks on those strings.

My name is Claudius Faustus, though in this beginning, Claude will do. Once upon a time, I was human. I am a demon, a butler, a contract, a forgotten lover, a puppet to love, and still somehow human. These things are what create my story, and I play each of my roles quite well.


	2. Chapter One: Demons

**Chapter One: Demons**

**Song: Demons, by Imagine Dragons**

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><p><strong>I wanna hide the truth. I wanna shelter you. <strong>

**But with the beast inside, there's nowhere we can hide. **

**No matter what we breed...we still are made of greed. **

**This is my kingdom come. **

_**This**_** is my kingdom come.**

_ The smell of crisp air and clean linen fills my nostrils, and my nose twitches against the soft brush of hair against it. The sweet smell of bath oil and lotions, of rosewater and of sweat...of her...of us._

_ "Good morning," she says, shifting her weight and rolling over, pressing her nose against mine, before her lips greet mine tenderly._

_ I haven't slept since I've become a demon until now, and at the same time, I've never slept better. I can't remember feeling this relaxed, even...no, especially in my human life. My muscles ache as I move my arms to wrap around her waist, touching bare, soft, velvety skin. She shivers. I smile. I love the effect I have on her. I doubt I'll ever grow tired of it. It's one of the best things about my 'curse'...I'll forever remember her smile, her laugh. I couldn't imagine a greater gift._

_ She sighs against my lips, melting into another kiss and I pull her closer. Light floods into the room, and I find myself uncaring of the hour—whatever it is. All I know is I want her, like this, in my arms, completely mine...the affections we've always shared mingling with the passion of the night before, igniting fire...kick-starting my heart in a frenzy._

_ "Claudius," she whispers my name against my lips, her fingertips trailing up my chest and neck, tangling into my hair. God. I open my eyes and..._

_**I scream.**_

"CLAUDE!" Lilith was shrieking at me, shaking my unconscious form. "BROTHER!" she growls, "WAKE UP!"

I detest sleep. It's a luxury for most demons. We need it- but so rarely it's almost insignificant. We can last weeks, or months without so much as a wink. If I'd my own choice, I'd go as long as it takes...until this cursed mortal form forced it of me. For others, we wake relaxed, more alive than we'd felt before. For me, I wake with a scream. I can hear myself, but I can't seem to make it stop. I feel my fangs brush my bottom lip, and know what a demon looks like when he's afraid. The hairs on my body stand up on end, shedding quickly to the floor- a spider's defense. My hands are covered in sticky substance, web, and I notice small droplets of red soiling their glossy white perfection—tears.

"Claude-" the voice is still harsh, but not as sharp or loud. Violet eyes and long tresses of silvery hair come into view- blurry at first and clearing as the images of red begin to fade. I realize my sister's claws have sunk into my arm as she frantically tries to silence me.

I hear my screaming subside as I'm pulled against her chest. "Idiot," she says, even as she embraces me in an almost motherly manner, holding me in her arms as though I was a small child. I hear footsteps and raise my head to see Timber walk into the room and shake his head. I understand then, even before she opens her mouth to explain.

"We thought you were going to wake _his highness._"

And who knows what would have happened if I'd succeeded. Most likely punishment, gloating, laughter at how weak I am. A lecture on how I need him as much as he needs me. He tries to make me human. He tries to force love from someone who has been drained, dried up, and abandoned. He tortures me because I torture him, without meaning to. Nowhere in the contract mentioned love. I would never agree to such an obligation, I could never meet its end...

How he thinks it will end, I'm not sure-in his new four poster bed, confessing my undying love? Crying tears of blood in his arms and admitting I'm damaged? I have my pride. I would never demean myself to that. Especially not for him. He would condemn me to another night of fitful sleep for not giving him the reaction he wanted...and I'd suffer, and the vicious circle would continue. I'm a masochist. I like the pain. I deserve the pain. If my dreams weren't enough to remind me of that- Lilith was.

My sister didn't always have silver hair and violet eyes. She didn't always act so rash, so harsh. She didn't always hate me. Oh, she tries to hide it. Beyond her smiles, and her caring touch, her attempts to joke with me...I could see it easily. Resentment. Loathing, lurking beneath a saccharine smile. Why she kept her hatred beneath the surface when it came to me, I wasn't sure, although, some days, I wondered if she hated me so much that she was simply waiting to repay me the kindness I once did to her.

I've breathed the kiss of death into two in my 'lifetime', and I've watched them both become fragments of who they used to be. Forever marbleized in memorial of what have come to be my greatest mistakes, my deepest regrets, and my worst fears. I've made a lifetime of excuses...my ignorance, my own situation...before I came to the conclusion that I am selfish, and I might always have been.

Lilith was the first to meet her fate. It was easy to feel selfless then. When I was a hero. I didn't know why she disappeared, all I knew was that I finally felt like the brother she deserved. I'd abandoned her when she needed me, and it wasn't until my world came crashing, that I realized that my sweet sister would have been better off with the death she pleaded for, her small fists pounding my chest, her voice hitching in rage. I was far too late. I didn't give her the choice I'd already been given at that point. What I did, perhaps cruelly, selfishly, was turn a broken husk of my beloved Lilith into a demon.

My desire to be the hero, and my selfish desire to keep her, bound me to what she is now. This thing is not my sister. This thing is a demon. Just as _he_ is and just as _she_ is. There is no complex system of morality in them. They wake, they scheme, they feed, they thrive, and they survive. They do not love. They do not have any compassion. To be that, what my master calls a 'marble statue', is a demon's essence, which means I meet my guise well. A demon's existence is primal, and comes naturally as breathing or hunger. That he calls me, who feels the most, and loves the hardest, a marble statue...intrigues me. Some demons lose their humanity instantly, waking up as though they were never anything else; but, for most, humanity dulls over time...hours, days, weeks, years. I've been waiting longer. I will never be the thing that killed love, and hope...and that is my curse.

I lay back on my pillow, feeling blood start to pool in my eyes as I fought back. I was still shaking from the nightmare, and yet, part of me wanted to go back to sleep...if only to have the few minutes of bliss...the feeling like I hadn't annihilated my entire world, my happiness, my future. This...the dreams, and the crimson...are the only clue of who I really am that I divulge in the manor. They're forced out of me, reminding me that secrets are only kept for so long. These terrors reduce me to the demon form I loathe, and blood stains my cheeks with the only color I've ever grown to hate. I find myself thankful that his highness still remains blissfully asleep. I don't want to endure more of the color red.

_**Sleep now, my precious love.**_

I won't. It's a lie. She's a liar.

It feels like I'm fighting sleep longer than I am, when really, it's mere minutes before the damn bell is going off again, and Lilith clicks her tongue in frustration. "One would think he'd been rich his entire life with that sense of entitlement, damn brat," she said with a smirk, amused thinking about it. "Maybe the other imps will escape and off him," she muses, "I could use a little ray of sunshine," she said, springing up out of my bed, to gather to see what his highness could possibly want so early in the morning.

"Ray of sunshine," I murmur, opening my eyes and looking out the window as rain begins to pelt it. The boy would free the others that the previous Earl Trancy had taken captive for his own means- we'd already discussed it. Maybe he wasn't completely heartless. No, of course not. We all put on faces to protect ourselves...no one would know that better than me.

The triplets were murmuring in the corner again, and I felt my heart drop a bit. Sometimes, it felt like those three were looking right through me. I feared being seen for what I truly was- neither demon nor human. A collective laugh. I turn my gaze, hoping it to be stern enough, "What is it?" I growl.

Lilith smiles, turning and handing me a towel, "It's your face, dearest brother, it's..."

I hold my hand up to my cheek, pulling it away stained in blood. I look down, droplets of blood staining my bare chest.

The towel would do no good. Most of the blood was already dry.

"What is it you dream about anyway? There's nothing to be scared of, Claude," she said, sounding a bit condescending, "we could take anything," she reveals her fangs as she ties an apron over her clothing.

We. There was no 'we'. Not anymore. I can't even remember now what human-Lilith said last to me. Or, what our last conversation as brother and sister was. When I look at her, and try to find the remnants of the human, all I can hear is dry sobs, begging with all tears run out for me to just end it. Any other demon she could have summoned...any but me. I'd never have the courage, and after the years of living with the mistake I made, I feel I could easily repeat it.

Lilith stands at the door now, taking a deep breath. "Let me," I hear myself say.

"Don't be an idiot, I can handle little Jim Macken."

"No doubt," I speak politely. It's not Lilith he wants. It isn't Hannah, or the triplets. A house full of demons, and it's only another minute before I hear a loud crash, "CLAUDE!"

I grimace. In seconds, I've changed clothes...red into black, nightmares to reality...that's what makes...me, the Trancy Butler. I pass Hannah in the hall, carrying broken pieces of a vase. She looks at me with a bitter distaste, "You don't deserve him."

I could never give the boy what he wanted of me. Hannah could. She retained enough humanity in her that she could easily replace the broken pieces of Jim- no, Alois'- fragile heart. He wouldn't have it though. He liked to be punished. He was like me in that way if no other. Day after day, he convinced himself to take the most difficult path, to atone for his own guilt. I guess we're all masochists in our own way. Hannah let Alois punish her, to be loved, like she was loved by his dearly departed brother. Alois played sadist while his heart broke every time someone called him highness, and he put up a front, trying desperately to belong somewhere, begging for a love he could never have. Lilith let herself look at me, tried to play dutiful sister. And I suffered it all silently. We take the love we think we deserve...and we punish ourselves accordingly.

I smirk, pushing my glasses up my nose as I pass Hannah, "I simply abide by my contract, until the day I take the Earl Trancy's soul. I am obligated to no more or less. You should know that. Master Trancy did not ask me to love him."

She scoffs at the name. She doesn't approve. There are many different kinds of love, many of them fleeting. I would have consumed his soul in seconds had he asked me to love him, and still been as hungry as I am now. I tire of feeding on gnats in my webs. Once, I spun a beautiful butterfly into my web, and when I looked at her, all I could do was cry the tears of red. Always red.

Now, what I spun were lies...an illusion of beautiful things to draw in the next soul I would capture and consume. The truth is, there are no beautiful things in this world...or at the very least a severe lack of. Beautiful things disappeared with anything that gave hope- stifled by religion, and politics. Control. Inhibitions have great cost. They send you to church on Sundays, tell you what is acceptable, what is right and wrong...and what is real and make believe. They tell you to think. And what they don't tell you is that magic is real...more then, than now. They burn witches now, and books which hold secrets of the old religion and ways. They try to cover it up with their stuffy suits and their queen, because magic tells you that anything is possible...and that's what I keep coming back hoping. That anything is possible.

Yes, the old ways are disappearing, and my task becomes harder each time I am condemned back to Hell and resurface years later, when more useful artifacts have disappeared. I've tried books, legend, myth, traveled this wretched Earth and I still haven't found anything worth my time.

For my purpose, I need magic. I need death-defying, anything is possible, ancient, powerful and strong magic. They say that immortality gives you no sense of urgency. They say when you love, time is nonexistent. But running a race against a civilization determined to destroy everything that holds their world together means that I only exist so long as humanity allows me. And I'm running out of time. And, to be honest, I don't want to wait any longer. I've waited long enough. They've waited long enough. If I have to become as deceitful as my brothers in hell...so be it. It wouldn't be the first time I've made a selfish decision for a means to an end. Patience has never been my strong suit. Neither has sitting back and letting events play out. Everything can be changed...fate is no exception. The first time I was horribly wrong. This time, I won't be.

"Claude!" I am wrapped into an embrace as devilish as mine. My master's. "I've been looking for you! Didn't you hear the bell?" He pouted, his voice going about a hundred kilometers per hour.

I pull my glasses off, busying myself cleaning them, rather than looking at, or feigning care for my master. I told Lilith I came because I knew it's me he wants. The truth is, I do need him. Though, not in the way he wants. I've spun more lies this morning for my own ends. Maybe Hannah can appreciate this one. Maybe I'll finally do something right.

As I pull out the Earl Trancy's chair, he sits daintily, smiling at me once more before his bright blue eyes turn to the door, "HANNAH!" he hissed.

The maid comes rushing out, carrying an array of breakfast foods fit for a king. She's made them all by hand, I know. I enjoy cooking, as well, it takes my mind off of things for a little while. She lays before him an assortment of various scones, bacon, eggs, dainty pastries, cinnamon-scented oats. If I were human, this would be a feast fit for a king. Alois, however, looks disgusted, "What is this?" he hissed, "This is complete SHIT, Hannah. I want kippers and eggs. Don't make me angry again. You will regret it."

"Yes, master," Hannah says with a bow, collecting the beautiful feast from the table.

Before she could get out of earshot, I smirk to Alois, "Your highness, forgive my tardiness. It occurred to me today the answer you've been seeking. I'd been preoccupied with it for days, searching. I know which demon your brother made a contract with."

Demons don't make mistakes. But, at that moment, I heard one of the china plates shift just slightly on the silver tray Hannah was carrying. She even stopped for the briefest of moments. How much did she think I loathed her? I'd known from the beginning that it was Hannah. I've known from the start how much she loathed herself for doing what she had to do...and that's why I would never tell Alois. I sympathize with her pain, I even understand it. As much as she resents me, she knows not the damage I could cause her. But I won't...because of what I am.

Silence fills the dining room. Alois Trancy closes his eyes. Human internal conflict. I see how rigid his body becomes, and I watch him struggle against tears. He always cried in front of me. It was Hannah he would not show the least amount of compassion to. Where I expect tears, instead, becomes anger, his eyes angry, his face reddening and his small body shaking, "WHO!?" he yells, slamming his fists on the dining table, sending a pitcher of juice to the floor, shattering, which I immediately clean up, almost too quickly to even register that it had fallen. "I want them dead, Claude."

"It would be my greatest pleasure, your highness, to exact revenge for you. However," I muse, allowing myself a pause. It was bait, and of course, the child would take it.

"What is it, Claude? You will do what I tell you, won't you? You're my demon. Who is it?"

"Let us meet in the study, breakfast is no place for such a conversation."

We convene without another word. He opens his mouth, but he still is wary the power he has over me. He doesn't know what he wants. It's obvious, even a fledgling demon could tell that behind cruel blue eyes and the poise he carried himself with, the human, Jim Macken, was just a scared little boy who didn't know what he wanted.

Before Alois can open his mouth, I close the door, sitting on the chesterfield, crossing my legs. I've changed into an old-fashioned military uniform. Lilith picked it out. She said it makes me look like a prince. I don't want to be the subject of any more fairytales. I ruin fairytales. The thing that goes bump in the night can't be the dashing hero, too. Heroes are the golden ones, empty-headed and too naive to think that death is reality, or that there are worse things still. As he opens his mouth, I silence him with my words, a power-play, overdone, really.

"Sebastian Michaelis." I whisper the name, feeling a cold down to my very bone. The name is unfamiliar on my lips, but my body knows exactly who I'm speaking of, and the dangerous spark that I just lit.

"Is he a demon, too?" Alois asks, staring down into his cup of tea, bitterly, without drinking it. That tea was expensive, imported. He won't drink it. He never does. He wanted the treatment that any young boy growing up impoverished could dream of-sizable house, great food, servants, and, at least with him, death to all enemies. He didn't have the taste for any of it- preferring greasy fish and chips to a five course dinner, and having a liking for milk over tea.

"Yes, that's right," I encourage, "It was he who wiped out your village, pursuant to a contract with a certain individual."

"And who might that be?" his small hands curl into fists. He's trying to hide his anger from me. Interesting.

"Sebastian has already eaten his soul."

"A demon killed him...Luka..." his eyes narrow as his hands shake around his tea before he dumps it completely on the pristine carpeting. More work for me to do, later.

"Now," I say, planting the seed, "Now, there is Ciel Phantomhive. He is the human party to Sebastian's new contract." The human party that had shown the demon the anguish of loving a human. The human that had made it to where one of my own kind might finally understand the severity of my need.

The boy stands, pacing, the idea ebbing in and out of his mind as I continue, "With this particular soul, Sebastian has a certain...singular...obsession. One fiercer than he should by rights feel for his prey." My heart stops. This is dangerous. I'm describing myself. The stakes are too high. I am beginning to regret this idea. The demon inside growls. It's right. I'm out of options. And the bastard deserves it.

_**Really, Claudius? Does anyone deserve such pain? **_

I wince. The voice is crystal clear and old-fashioned as the era I'd heard it in, within my head, and were I alone, I would have collapsed upon hearing it. Instead, I'm shocked to hear another familiar line, "Hoheo taralna, rondero tarel." Those words always catch me off guard, and my mouth opens, before I think better and close it again, watching my master stand against the gray backdrop of the window. It would rain today.

He wasn't going to let me forget those words today. He looks almost giddy at the thought, "I want him to suffer, like he made me suffer...like he made Luka suffer. Hoheo taralna, rondero tarel," he repeats, more forcefully, sticking out his tongue and revealing his contract. This child is a tornado.

"And suffer he will." It wasn't a lie. A demon's love is rare, as I mentioned before. It requires a certain amount of...morality. If 'Sebastian' had found love, what I was about to do to him would hurt him like he'd never fathomed. It would cause him as much anguish as he caused me. The difference—I wouldn't laugh. I feel no joy in doing this. He isn't human. Not anymore.

Alois thinks for another moment, before clapping his hands together, and smirking. Not a smile...something much more sadistic, "I order you to make this Ciel mine."

It is done. I bow, content with this order, "Master," my eyes glow, signifying my consent. This couldn't have gone better.

"By the way, Claude, you look like shit. Tonight you will sleep, it's an order," the boy said, skipping happily out of the room, "and make the place look presentable...we will have company soon."

He could mean a number of things. Company. Investigators for his late 'father's' murder, relatives that were unaware that Earl Trancy's long-lost son had returned, investors, one of the Earl Trancy's former flock of perverse old men. Any of those things would have been cause to make the place look decent; but, he meant none of them. He meant Ciel Phantomhive. Red into midnight blue, and soon scarlet into bright pink. Yes, a cause to look presentable indeed.

"May I ask a question?" I stop the Earl Trancy mid-skip. Curiosity gets the better of me, though I know I won't like the answer, "Why would you like to possess Ciel Phantomhive, rather than kill Sebastian?"

"Simply killing him isn't enough. After death, he would just peacefully rot into a skeleton in some patch of earth. No," he says with a chuckle, "That's too good for him. You see, I want him to know an agony worse than death. The boy is the key. We'll use the young master Ciel he fancies so much."

So, I had judged his character thoroughly.

"Magnificent." _Terrifying. I'm so sorry...I have no choice._

_**There's always a choice. You never stopped being selfish.**_

"Ciel Phantomhive is mine. Mine. And so are you, Claude."

"Yes, your highness." None of my masters own me. I've only belonged to one. I am wildfire to Jim Macken, waiting to spark from a tiny flame. Wildfire can't be contained. One day this truth will kill him.

19th century England isn't so different from Hell. Sure, one smells like fire and brimstone and the other like rain and night; but, the motives are the same. Demons are only as evil as the wishes of their human masters. Being a demon is a singular hunger. Humans feel things much too complex for their comprehension. Killers hide from the rain under umbrellas the same as innocent lambs. Wolves lurk everywhere, and I am not one of them. That thought alone terrifies me. And worse, they don't admit it. Some of them don't even see it.

_**If you want to see the monster, look in the mirror. You're lying if you say you're not. **_

Alois turns to stare as I drop a full teapot, scalding tea splashing up from the shards on the floor. He says nothing.

I did what I did because I am selfish, and in turn, my own personal hell is dealing with the repercussion. I will forever remember her smile, her laugh, the antiquity of her beautiful voice, rising and falling with her emotions poured into every word... and those red eyes. I can't imagine a greater curse.

I'll meet you again in my dreams, Luci.

Until you're back in my arms.

**They say it's what you make, I say it's up to fate. It's woven in my soul, I need to let you go...**

**...Don't get too close, it's dark inside...it's where my demons hide.**


	3. Chapter Two: Love Story

**Chapter Two: Love Story**

**Chapter Co-Author: Beatrice Black~without whom this chapter would be black and white~ instead of its glorious shade of RED~  
><strong>

**Song: Love Story, by Taylor Swift**

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><p><strong>We were both young when I first saw you...<strong>

**I close my eyes and the flashback starts...**

_ "Du ut des."_

_ I lean into Lilith, nudging her with my shoulder, muttering,"Admiror, o paries, te non cecidisse ruinis..." (I'm astounded, wall, that you haven't collapsed into ruin...)_

_ She laughs softly, beautiful bells in that innocence, as she shoots me a glare at the same time. I love my sister's ability to show two different emotions at once. She doesn't mean the glare. I know that she detests father's studies as much as I do. Regardless of that fact, she's the better twin...she always has been. She's actually studying father's words as he teaches them. I'm hiding behind scrolls of study- numbers, and the gods...and reading poetry instead. I love poetry- much more than anything else I've wasted my time learning._

_ I remember all of father's lessons though... I just wish I didn't have to. I don't care about the Gods. Father says we should practice, and sacrifice ourselves for the grace we've received—but I don't believe that any God has control over my fate. He wants me to study to join the pontifical college, to take his place so he can step down. I've been avoiding his disappointment for years...but I'll reach my eighteenth year, soon...and I've been a man too long. Disappointment is inevitable._

_ Father is a soft-spoken man, but that does not mean the Roman state does not know his name. My father is the pontiff of Jupiter. He says its an honor to represent the leader of the gods. I think it's a horror. I can't imagine the pressure. I can't imagine all of the eyes of Rome on me at all times. He is an essential member to our society. He gives advice to everyone, including important members of the state. He's present at weddings, at funerals, in government officialness, and of course at temple. Everyone knows you when you are one of sixteen holy-men. I don't want everyone to know my name. I just want to disappear into poetry, and other worlds. Worlds that don't exist, more often than not. I want to live. This isn't living. _

_ "Claudius," my father hisses. I drop the scroll I'm holding and he snatches it._

_ "Epigrams?" he sighs, running fingers through his thinning hair. "Claudius, temple is to convene in five minutes, and instead of studying to take my place as a good son would do, you are reading humor and poetry? What am I to do with you?"_

_ "I'm...listening..." I protest, shrinking away from his gaze. My father doesn't yell at me. Lilith and I are rarely punished. Punishment may be better than the look he gives. That look makes you remember all of the horrible things you've done to this man who's seen too much, and still tries to help people find light. The man who has a son who is a disgrace, and a daughter that matches the wit of any man (which most take as a grave insult)._

_ "And what did I say?" his gaze is fixed on me with the blue eyes he and Lilith share. She's looking at me too. I feel it._

_ "Du ut des," I repeat monotonously._

_ "And what does this, the very foundation of our beliefs mean, Claudius?"_

_ "I give...that you might give."_

_ "And how can you relate this to yourself?"_

_ He's right. He's given me everything. I don't need gods. I have a father who loves me. I have a father who's spent his earnings taking care of me and my sister on his own. He's given us both education. We can both read, we can both write. We have beds to sleep in and want not for food. He has let me shirk my duties far longer than any other man in Rome-patient or not-would have done, and he hasn't pressured Lilith into marrying. He keeps giving, and giving, leaving me to wonder how he can do it after mother passed- with the pressure of the Roman state lying on his shoulders, the Pontifex Maximus attending our temple regularly to check on him, and the pressure society gave him as the only remaining member of our family- the head of it- raising two children alone. "I...should give more...to my studies, and to you, father."_

_ "You should give more to the gods, Claudius. Lilith, will you recite..." _

_ Father is interrupted by the doors of the temple opening loudly. He quickly shoves scrolls back on his work area. "Claudius, Lilith, come, come quickly, we have special guests attending temple today."_

_ Strange. He hasn't thought to speak of it. Should Caesar really visit again so soon- with military going on, maybe the man thinks he needs the gods more than sheer dumb luck._

_ Fear strikes me at the thought of war. Not for myself. Never for myself._

_ My eyes open wide to see Caelius standing in the front of our temple. His golden militant honors gleaming against his breast was not nearly as intimidating as the man himself. Capaneus Caelius was tall, and built for war. He was intimidating, and everyone in Rome knew his name. He was a commander. He worshiped Mars above all, and by the looks of him, strove to become god-like himself. He was currently Rome's pride, festivals and gatherings in his honor, great feasts and banquets. I felt a knot in my throat. My closest friend, essentially my brother...had joined the cause, and described the man as fearsome. Even with his family standing behind him, I felt intimidated. I could not imagine the anxiety of training under this man's eye._

_ "Caelius," my father takes the man's arm, in symbolism of brotherhood, smiling softly. _

_ "Faustus," the man says. His voice is gravel, and deep. It isn't harsh. It is tired. A man who worked far too much. Father had gravel in his voice after a day officiating. This man never stopped working._

_ Father turned to Lilith and I, "My children, this is Claudius, and Lilith."_

_ Though it was customary to introduce children, I feel my face flush. This was one of the times I felt terrible for dishonoring my father. He would introduce his pathetic son, and his should-have-been-a-boy-look-how-wonderful-she-is daughter, who, at seventeen, intimidated any potential suitor by her intelligence._

_ The man glances over Lilith and I feel his eyes pierce me. I feel his gaze on the tips of my hair, traveling down to my toes as he examines me._

_ "How old is your son?" he asks._

_ "He has nearly reached his eighteenth year."_

_ "No military training? Do you believe that wise? Caesar is training all men to aide in our cause. Rome needs him."_

_ I don't need Rome. I want out. I never want to come back._

_ "He is training under me for the College of the Pontifex."_

_ They are both too serious. And they are both wrong. They aren't going to decide my future, or put a day on it. The men silently stare at each other in wordless conversation for a moment before I see Caelius break into a smile. A genuine smile. He must have respected my father's guts. If I had any intention to be a pontiff, I would have as well._

_ "Ah, enough of this serious conversation. My family will not linger, my wife has business with my children in the city. It would be quite ill-mannered of me not to offer an introduction. My wife, Caecelia..."_

_ With the shadow of intimidation radiating around this man, his family had virtually disappeared. It isn't until he mentions them that I remember they are standing there to begin with. The woman is short. Lilith's height. She was silent, offering a nod. A woman of few words. She stands in front of her children, as though she were protecting them from something. A true woman...bound to her husband, and loyal to him. People are terribly easy to read, and often subjects that stay the same, person to person, woman to woman, man to man. She moves away, however, with the next introduction._

_ "My eldest daughter, Marlena,"_

_ The girl gives a small curtsy, "And my youngest, my son and heir, Daedalus." He places a proud hand on his son's shoulder. His son looks like him, stands honorable like him. He can't be more than fourteen. So this is what I should be...the mirror image of my father._

_ The man looks around the temple, his eyes portraying confusion, an emotion that obviously, this stone general does not see often. He stands stone cold by the time his eyes cross back to his wife, whispering harshly, "Where is Lucilia?"_

_ The woman's eyes widen in panic as she spins a slow circle. The eldest daughter opens her mouth to speak, but before she can utter a word I hear quickening footsteps before I see small feet gracefully slide into temple. _

_ "Where were you?" Capaneus Caelius hisses before his youngest daughter has even slid to a halt, his cold eyes burning with embers._

_ The rest of the conversation is lost the second she looks up, smiling with curiosity and youth. The words cease to exist, and all that remains is fire._

_ The dim coals in Capaneus' eyes had sparked in his daughter and gone wild. That fire, still blazing, ignites within me. I feel it first in my toes, as my whole body is overcome with heat. I'm dizzy, so dizzy...breathing smoke. I struggle to suck in air._

_ How many seconds have passed? I see my father laugh, and Lilith looks at me and tilts her head. She's asking me a question. I can't hear above the sound of a drum-my own heart. At eighteen, I have not, until this moment, come to decide who I want to be, and what I want to become. And now the answer is so simple I should have thought it years ago. Hers. Hers is who I want to be, and what I want to become. _

_ I want to become the reason she smiles like that. I want to know why she smiles like that, if her laughter has the same bells as Lilith's, or if she tries to hide it. I want to know why the room smells like roses. Is someone sending her roses? Please, don't let her be in love with someone else. _

_ Love? I'd only read the word before today. What am I thinking?_

_ "I'm sorry father, I found these-" she held out a satchel, glancing finally in my direction and making my heart slam into my throat. "I've never seen such a color..."_

_ Neither had I. Her eyes were stars, exploding into galaxies, into worlds I never knew existed. They were brown the color __of ancient Earth, full of mystery and never enough explored. They were the color of sand on the sea after the rain and the feeling of home after years of aimless wandering. They were the only thing to go to war for, and the only reason to come home. _

_She doesn't mean her eyes, of course. She means paint. She holds hues of a bright blues and greens the ocean could envy on the sunniest day. Craftsmanship of highest value. How much money was she carrying on her person that she could afford such a luxury? What did she paint? I want to watch her paint..._

_ Capaneus' face was turning a brilliant color as well. I watch it go from sunned, to blush, to some mottled pink, spreading quickly into crimson. He reaches for the satchel, yanking it forcefully from her grasp. I felt something hitch in my throat—rage. _

_ Before the man could reprimand his daughter- for what- the paints or her tardiness I am not sure, the satchel swings the wrong way, sending the deep green spiraling, and spilling on the floor. The floor that I would have to clean. The floor of the temple._

_ Bystanders and visitors to temple stand, mouths ajar. It's just paint. Even the gods can enjoy a little color. The green seems intelligent enough in it's hue- not too dark to notice, nor too bright to cause distaste to one's vision, nor to Jupiter. In its decent, it lands at my feet, the final drops spilling over my toga. I glance down, and honestly, I try not to...but before I can help it, more dishonor comes out of my mouth, a laugh._

_ My sister joins in, snorting her approval and then flushing red at the sound leaving her throat unwillingly, covering her mouth, and shaking with the vibrations of the bells in her voice._

_ Lucilia had looked horrified only seconds before, but now as her body shook, it was with a soft laugh. The polite kind of laugh. Our eyes lock again, and our laughter dies. My smile doesn't._

_ Capaneus speaks over the dying chuckles of our group to my father, "It seems when I arrange to meet for business, or even at temple, that my family must remain at home. My most sincere apologies, Faustus, I assure you, such disgrace will not happen again. Go, have the slaves escort you home. All of you. We will discuss this later, Lucilia." I don't like the way he talks to her. My rage burns._

_ She reaches for the satchel, and he interrupts once more, "Leave it."_

_ "Yes, father." Words I could never say, even to my saint of a father, she says with ease, and I am less comforted._

_ But, that was that. She would walk out of my life as quickly as she'd slid into it, like a storm, brief and breathtaking, leaving a mess in her wake. She turns towards me, stopping at my feet and bending to pick up the canister of green paint. Turning the jar in her hand for a brief moment, she studies it before looking up at me and smirking._

_ I can't swallow. I can't breathe. All of my functions cease as this girl looks at me, studying me as thoroughly as she did the canister, "The same color as your eyes."_

_ "_Why not green? Darling, Claude, that color looks dreadful. It looks as though you're going to a funeral," Grell says, thumbing through my wardrobe, "...or better...RED." he says the final color with dramatization that makes me remember what era the reaper is from...the era of poetry, and prose, and William Shakespeare. I hide a smile. Watching a reaper work is a strangely breathtaking experience, and I was with him to that end. How he had begged to spare the poet, with such heart that I doubted that the red death god was any different from me at all. His soul was still in tact and I found that beautiful.

"Honestly, do you own anything but the color black?" the reaper says, cringing as he pulls out one of my butler uniforms.

My life is a funeral. There's no need for anything but black. Luci took the colors with her when she left. Today is no different, except this time I will play the faithful role of death. Sebastian will lose something he loves today at my hand. I scarcely feel like showing my face, let alone parading around in that color.

Lilith sits on the edge of my bed, her foot tapping in agitation. Other people- mortal or not- make her uncomfortable. "You don't have to do this."

But I do. I have to do this. I can't help but wonder how everyone in my life feels towards one another. Whether demon-Lilith and demon-Sebastian still see each other as they used to. Him looking at her like a little sister, and her looking at him with doe-eyes.

It's always been him, not just for Lilith, but with nearly everyone whose paths we crossed. And I'm not jealous. Or, at least, I wasn't. He was always stronger, more charming, more headstrong. And he was my best friend.

I didn't need half of Rome. I never wanted glory or attention. But, I enjoyed the time we spent together. I loved him, as a brother. At one time, more than that. He was my first.

That was forever ago. It scarcely mattered. It ended as quickly as it had begun- a phase. He found war, and I found Luci, and we both got what we wanted. To have such a love, as well as a brother, was the closest thing to happiness I've known. Those years were the best of my life.

I carry no resentment for Marius Regillus...only love. It's Sebastian Michaelis that I loathe. I loathe what he did to me. What I did in turn to her. I'd be lying if I didn't believe the demon within that this would be strangely satisfying.

The human inside found every thought of this sickening, remembering Marius as a child: stick fights, and baths together. I remember the feel of his hands in my hair, and the smell of his...

"Claude, my DARLING, are you blushing?" Grell announces with sparkles in his eyes, turning all immediate attention to me, much to my horror. "You have no idea how RED suits you."

There's no way I can hide the color, which I would imagine is now spreading even more vividly across my normal pallid features. My heart rate is quickening...embarrassment. Of anyone in the world that could know about my younger escapades, two of the three I would keep clueless forever are in the room with me. "No," I say simply, though the truth is obvious. Grell knows it, too.

"Let me see your eyes, Claudy," the reaper says excitedly, "Your eyes never lie." He doesn't wait for permission, though he never does. Intruding upon my personal space is a mass of red- glasses, hair, the works- examining my features.

Another blur...Lilith, pushes Grell away from me with such force he falls backwards on my bed. "Mind your own business, you prick," she's obviously looking for a fight. Something's bothering her today. I have the unsettling feeling that nearly all of it has to do with me. "And if I ever hear you call my brother 'Claudy' again, I am not responsible for my actions." her eyes are turning red.

Though I have no use for Grell's pet-name, I feel it hardly warrants this reaction. Though perhaps I should intervene, I do nothing. I'm too lost in thought- in useless dilemma, the demon fighting the human and vice-versa for moral fiber.

"Aren't you extra aggressive today, sweetheart!?" Grell exclaims, his Cheshire grin fading from his features as he places his hand against his head, mock-fainting. "You honestly should work on her manners, handsome." He sits up on my bed, talking about her as though she weren't there- another of my sister's peeves.

She shoots venom into him with her eyes, as she lunges towards him, and he lands gracefully on the chair nearest the door, his hair waving with the draft from the window, with the shears. She grabs her favorite toy from my bedside. Her scythe is different from Grell's, more...literal, and possibly more dangerous. Lilith must have admirers in Hell, too, because this scythe is a demon's weapon...forged in hellfire, and nearly indestructible. If it wasn't pointed at Grell, he may have admired it...black, and red.

"Just because I don't have my scythe with me, doesn't mean I can't summon it and paint you red, my sweet Lilith. You don't have to look at me like that, doll. I see how much you crave death, and I can put you out of your misery. That's what I do, you know?" Grell said, casually, still standing statuesque on my chair, twirling a lock of his hair.

"Enough," I say, stepping between them at long last. Hearing anyone talk about my sister's death is enough to render me useful again. She's not going anywhere. Never again. "Put it down, Lilith."

She gives me a look that I recognize from our childhood years. The look that says, 'are you seriously taking his side, I'm your sister.' I smile. Wrong move.

I sigh as I am given looks as though I am the reason this is happening. "No one is dying. Lilith, Grell is our guest..."

She snorts in frustration and distaste, "In case you've forgotten, I live here too. I will not have my brother associating with this trash."

"Trash!?" Grell looks utterly appalled, "Mind your tongue little water Lily! I'm starting to get dreadfully bored with your whining!"

"Honestly, Lilith, is this necessary?" I sigh. Lilith is the easier one to calm. Even if that, too, is a feat within itself.

Lilith wheels on me, "You aren't even listening to me, idiot," she hisses, walking to my window and placing her hand against it, "I don't think you should do this. It's not his fault, Claude," Lilith continues, turning to face me with eyes that make my blood run cold. "You have to stop blaming him. It's not his fault. YOU chose your fate, and you set mine, and hers with it."

I feel pins and needles in my mouth where I can't speak. My mouth is dry. I know these things because they are true, but I don't like being told about them. Lest of all from my sister.

"What you're doing is WRONG. Not only as a human being, but even demons don't torture their own." She looks at Grell. She's silently implying that not even a reaper could have this sense of injustice. "...Does your selfishness know no bounds, brother?"

She knows how to hurt...a game we've dabbled in since we were children fighting over the last bit of dessert. "DEMONS," I feel my voice shaking as it raises, "Don't love humans."

Her eyes are almost completely red now, "SO IT'S ONLY OKAY FOR YOU, THEN!? HOW DARE YOU!? WHO. ARE. YOU!? IF YOU CAN'T HAVE LUCI, MARIUS CAN'T LIVE HIS DECISION IN PEACE? IF YOU CAN'T HAVE LUCI, THE POOR GIRL CAN'T EXIST AS ANYTHING BUT A MEMORY OF THE GIRL SHE WAS!? IF YOU CAN'T HAVE LUCI...I CAN'T...I CAN'T..." she's starting to hyperventilate. Lilith had panic attacks since she was a child. As a demon, they're getting worse. I rush to her side. She shoves me to the floor "DON'T-" she pants. She's still angry, even as her eyes flash between violet and red. She doubles over, coughing violently.

I smell blood. "Lilith..."

"Don't touch me," she says, pulling her hand away from her mouth and trying to conceal the blood, "Just go. You've made your decision. Take your petty revenge against the one who only ever gave you what you asked for."

She couldn't understand what I had against Sebastian. None of them could. Sebastian Michaelis is Marius Regillus in looks alone. He lost his soul. They all did. It's like they gave up. They left me alone. When I asked Marius to make me into a demon, it was to stand by my 'brother's' side through whatever literal hell he'd have to face. It wasn't to watch him become this.

_"Until the very end, we'll be brothers," he told me. With a smile that confident, we could rule the world together. We could watch it crumble, and rebuild, and stand over it in any way we pleased. "Think about it, Claudius. We could do anything."_

_ His eyes were crimson. I felt uneasy, but smiled anyway. Demons. Who would even have thought they were real? It was like a fountain of youth. He was my brother. We would be invincible. It didn't take a second thought. Reckless._

_ "Then do it," I'd said._

Three words had destroyed every foundation I'd ever laid, or hoped to build. _Then do it_.

I could be dead, rotting in the earth next to my beloved Luci. Reckless. Careless. Selfish. I hated each of these three words.

_Then do it. _But not more than those.

They only heard my rash words. They don't hear his promise. Until the very end. There was no end to this hell. There would never be an end to this hell. Only an end to humanity. To the world I'd known, and the only world that I wanted.

"I'll do it," I say, trance-like.

"GO THEN," she growls, "Far be it from me to stop you. I've _never_ been enough to you to stop you."

"It's for the best," I try to soothe.

"I've heard that before," she retorts, "Forgive me for expecting something worse to happen now. You're good at that."

"I..." I can't think of anything to say to that. My heart clenches painfully in my chest.

"...Go," this time it's barely a whisper.

I motion to Grell, and follow him out of my bedroom, shutting the door and leaving my sister alone without another word. Sometimes, I think she preferred it that way...though I could never leave her alone for long. She'd see when this was over. It would be a reunion like the world had never seen. She'd be happy then...proud of me. Would she remember all of this? Would the hate remain? Too many questions. I shake them off. Focus on the task at hand, "He's set London into flames for this boy? This Ciel?" I ask Grell, trying to assess the situation as I pace the hall quickly, eager to get this over with and avoid Alois Trancy at all costs. I would have set the world into flames for Luci.

Love and madness go hand in hand. Repeat something, no matter how many times it fails, hoping for a different result. Find something to protect, and protect it until the end. Love. He'd found it at last. Fire and rain. I smile. Maybe we're not so different.

"Yes, my darling Claude. My Bassy has set London into flames of Hell! Oh! He has set my heart into fire as well!"

I can't think of a more fitting color for the reaper than red. It's not only his hair, his chainsaw (which he was sorely without), or even his favorite color. It's passion, in nearly every word he speaks...but particularly about Sebastian. I can only imagine my dear old friend's reaction to so much attention. I can't help but smile, wiping it away quickly and changing the tone to something more serious, "Hold his attention for as long as you can, Grell, after I take the boy's soul." I haven't assessed the situation yet, but even outside of London, I smell smoke. It makes me wretch. It reminds me of 'home'. The home I never want to return to.

"Your wish is my command, handsome! Oh, my poor demon will shatter into pieces when he finds out you took that brat's soul; which will give me a golden opportunity to kiss him!"

I've known the red reaper for centuries now. This isn't the first partnership we've somewhat illegally dabbled in. Passion has always come easily...but, love. It seems to be going around. There was no way to tell if it was really love, though. Perhaps affection, or lust, before love...but there was never a way to know, Grell hid his true feelings well, hiding behind the same masque as everyone else...granted, his was a much more welcome cheer than I was usually greeted with. "Focus, Grell. If this works as planned, surely you will reap the benefits as well," I push my glasses up, groaning in my head at the terrible pun. It's best I remain silent. There are too many thoughts in my head, and too little sense in any of them to utter.

The potential to harvest so many souls with London aflame was too tempting for the reaper, who showed me where I might find Sebastian. Rowing in a small boat down the river, he did not see either of us- too lost in thought by far to focus on his real worries. The boy with him was small, somewhere in his mid-teens. I smile. Somehow, I had pictured Ciel Phantomhive differently. When we were fifteen, we had the world on our shoulders as well. I understand. He's reminiscent of both Marius, and myself... Hope, in a dreadfully hopeless world. He is beautiful, this boy, no less than my Luci, for a different taste. But, they both look so sad. Didn't they understand? If the world around them burned, they would be free from persecution. The angel was doing them a favor.

We followed him to the holy bridge, where the reaper took his leave, promising to return for the show, for his Bassy, and for our deal.

I listen just in time to hear Sebastian warn his little lord against spectating. It's so typical. He's always had to have the glory, and be on his own. I am surprised when the young boy opens his mouth indignantly, "I see, so you're saying you can't handle him if you're fettered down?"

I nearly laugh aloud. This boy is perfect for him. Challenging him...and if I know Marius... "If you would so prefer, you shall have the best view in the house, my young lord," he says with a bow. I was right. I've little time to gloat as I watch them begin to ascend the ladder to the top. It's too risky to take a human appearance. I close my eyes...such an old habit.

_"Watch," Marius said with a sheepish grin, his body contorting until from his back sprouted wings, and he shrank down, until his robe rest around a creature different altogether- a raven, with blood red eyes. "They call me Raum, now," the raven mused. _

_ They. Others like us. I was terrified of them. "You'll always be Marius." _

_ The raven grew into a man once more, still smiling, and completely naked. He had no shame in his nudity, though I felt my cheeks flush pink, taking my eyes swiftly away as soon as I processed where they were looking. "You get to pick one too."_

_ "A name?"_

_ "No. A form. An animal. Anything you want. To hunt, to conceal."_

_ I'd been watching a spider spin a web in a tree next to us. As she paused, I plucked her gently from the nest she'd been weaving. She struggled for a moment, before I could give her her freedom and she began spinning again, weaving intricately through my fingers._

_ Marius cringed. He'd hated spiders, even as a human. There was little else that could reduce the great and brave Marius to a childlike state. There were so many in temple...just as out of place in this world, misunderstood, and so beautiful. What better a creature?_

_ "I'd crush you," he said, with a deadly serious look on his face._

_ I laughed, closing my eyes. At first, I felt nothing, and then, my clothes get heavy before I free-fall to the ground. I opened my eyes- all eight of them. Suddenly, distance had a new meaning, and I struggled to find how to cast a web. Of course I didn't make it, and I connected with the ground. _

_ Marius groaned. "A spider. Had I known, you'd still be human."_

A bridge is a lot more difficult to climb when you are mere inches tall. By the time I reach the top, sitting in rubble close to Sebastian's little human, the fight has already begun. Sebastian holds a stub of where his arm used to be. He's bleeding, but he doesn't care. His master calls out for him, and he turns. Yes, I see it all in the embers of his eyes, then. Unyielding devotion. Love. A love that would go to the depths of hell and take whatever risk necessary to fight for. The kind of love that plagues the heart and eats at it should you choose to make one mistake. It saddens me greatly. The human within, that is. Really, I didn't want to be right...I didn't want this to be so easy. I came here expecting to see the demon version of the man I used to consider my best friend. I am disappointed to find him more human than I've seen him since we parted.

Certainly, he's putting on a good show and fighting back. But, this isn't a battle of heaven versus hell. This is a contract fulfillment, and more than that, a fight for a lover. I see it in his eyes. Hesitation. Regret. Sorrow. This is the final battle. We both know what comes next, and I feel less guilty now that I may be preventing him from making a horrible mistake. By taking this boy's soul myself, he will have time to reflect...to let the human within him fester with the heart he'd tried to abandon. In the end, he would thank me, just as Luci and Lilith would.

"You allow yourself to be distracted during our fight!?" the angel demands, "Who do you think you are!?"

He turns back to the angel with a smirk I've seen a million times before, the one I used to look forward to, daily. This fight isn't nearly over, and he's anything but distracted. The impurity, the would-be souls clinging to him begin to dissipate, melting into oblivion. Grell is helping his 'Bassy' after all. The reaper would never know the depth of my gratitude for his affections in that moment.

"Everyone is useless," the angel growls, "I must purify them all."

Angels, given too much power, are far more evil than demons. Even Lucifer was once an angel. Power is simply what you choose to do with it, and a name, is only a name.

I latch on to the boy's overcoat mere moments before Sebastian grabs him up, away from the angel's wrath. I feel my heart quicken. Too close. I'm too close to them, and too close to death.

_Coward, _the inner-demon mocks.

He still smells like lavender. Like the fields. It's a comforting smell, far more than fire and brimstone. I tuck into the crevice of a button. It's short lived. I feel his weight come crashing down, and I scurry up fabric to evade the fall.

The boy clings to him, opening his eyes. The contract has faded. The arm. How foolish to leave a seal somewhere so easily stolen. "Se...Sebastian...what happened?" His demon has been impaled with feathers from the angel. _It is true, young Ciel, that a demons love knows no bounds. He will fight for you, until whatever end becomes of you. And, perhaps longer. And that is why he has become just the fool I am._

"Young master, if I may, I'd ask a favor." He leans close, his breath against the boy's ear. A token of affection he won't justify as such to either of them. "Please close your eyes."

I feel the boy's heart stop for a moment, as his breath catches, and his heart beats harder to catch up. His voice isn't commanding or harsh as he asks, "But...why?"

"I am your butler. It is not acceptable to damage my master's impression of me. Until I give the word, please...close them." _What could he be planning?_

"Yes," the boy says, without hesitation, "I'll do it."

One glance that lasted a bit too long, and Sebastian stands. My heart clenches for him. So stubborn. Idiot.

"Now then," Sebastian says with a smile, his eyes changing from an appeasing human shade of crimson, into a deep, glowing violet, "At last you'll get to see my true form. It's unsightly...disgusting...repulsive..." his voice is changing octaves now, and he's raining feathers. This angel threatened the safety of his loved one. I have done far worse, to far greater beings. I skitter away from the boy in surprise when I hear a faint whisper, "...Sebastian...it's beautiful..."

Those words hit hard.

"_I want to see you, Claudius."_

_ "You are seeing me." I knew what she meant._

_ She scoffed, "I want to see you. The real you. The one you hide from me."_

_ I stood, petrified for a moment, shaking. I wanted to kiss her. And I wanted to push her away. And I wanted to pull her closer. I wanted to show her, and I wanted nothing to do with the form that Marius had bestowed upon me...not when it came to her. I couldn't say no. __"Is it...really what you want?" _

_ "My silly demon," I felt my blood rush in my veins again, my heart pounding a little harder against both my chest, and hers, hearing the word fall from her perfect lips. "Don't you know you're all I ever wanted? This changes nothing. Nothing can take my away my love." Her cheeks were pink. I'd made her blush._

_ My eyes lightened to golden and she smiled, scarcely daring to move as claws grew in place of fingernails, my hair falling from it's ponytail around my face, and my massive wings expanded. She was home to the demon too. They instantly encase her as her arms wrap around my waist, "There...was that so hard?" she teased me gently, looking into my eyes and pushing strands of hair away as I lean to kiss her, wrapping us both in the warmth and protection of my new-found wings._

_ "Claudius," she told me, pulling away from our kiss, "There are beautiful things in this world...but not __everyone understands the notion of true beauty...that's __why not everyone notices what is beautiful. You are beautiful, just like this, my everything."_

"It is my true form," Sebastian continues. Feathers grow over his cheeks...his hair and face still in tact as two majestic wings form at his back. His arms and torso grow darker, and his attire changes. Leather. I smell fire and brimstone now, and hear the clicking of heels. A dark angel. Nothing he could ever say could convince me that he was anything else.

"A demon..." the angel stutters. Sebastian reveals his fangs. He's enjoying this. I watch as the angel stands petrified. Black feathers fly at him, blinding him as Sebastian makes easy work of him, his anger making it all too easy. I feel the bridge quake before it bows, breaking, as I grip onto Ciel once more, and we slide. We're going to fall. His hand grasps the edge of the bridge desperately, his knuckles already turning white as he tries to hold on.

"Master," the demon calls, "Can you last long enough for me to count down from ten?"

"Yes," he calls, but he's struggling already. I feel his entire body shake as Sebastian counts down. With each number, the angel's screams grow louder, until at last, they cease completely and I hear heels click against the bridge and see Sebastian come into view, transforming slowly out of his demon form, until he smiles down upon us, "It's over now, master."

Ciel opens his eyes. I crawl quickly up his coat and onto the bridge, out of sight. Were I seen here, everything would be ruined. The boy offers a smile before he releases his grip on the hand, plummeting into the raging river below without so much as a word. No. He couldn't!

Sebastian's mouth opens in horror, "CIEL!" In moments like this, all formalities are past.

I understand then. He should, too. It would be too painful now that it was over, to know you were merely the price of a soul. To die being loved is far greater than to lose your soul knowing that for most, love is simply an illusion and part of the act. I am reminded of Lilith once more, pleading for death. This boy won't get death either. Marius is too attached already...life, is perhaps what we most selfishly bestow upon our victims, because we cannot see the ones we love die. They must bear the weight of our choices as well. He leaps from the bridge and follows his master into the murky depths. He still doesn't know that he won't take his soul- but he's holding on for as long as he can.

I know where he's going. I can beat him there and complete my duty. I look at the arm, laying amidst the rubble, and the staked angel. His need to be the hero, makes my part of the villain too simple. He's already disconnected, and all this will be to me is another mark in the book of damnation, and another sleepless night. I latch onto a raven..._how fitting_, and I am carried towards open water, to the Isle of the Dead...a place I haven't visited since my soul was damned, and still a place I could never forget.

The human and the demon are struggling within me again, but anyone can see which will win. But, I know what I'm doing, and this is for the best. Something inside me tells me that Lilith and Luci would think differently, and I feel the hairs on my eight-legged body stiffen in embarrassment, and I try to justify my actions to my invisible love, "I want to rewrite destiny and be your hero,"

_**You have always been my hero, Claudius. But it's not me that needs saving, it's you.**_

So she does still care. I was beginning to wonder. But she's wrong. I know exactly what I'm doing, and she doesn't see what she's of them see what they've become. It's a dark and stormy night. Aren't they all?

**Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess,**

**It's a love story...baby just say 'yes'.**


	4. Chapter Three: High

**Chapter Three: High**

**Chapter Co-Author: Stevie Gaskins~ who is simply one hell of a Sebastian.**

**Song: High, by James Blunt**

* * *

><p><strong>Beautiful dawn, lights up the shore for me...<br>There is nothing else in the world  
>I'd rather wake up and see with you.<strong>

_ Lilith snickers, nudging me as I stumble, against the wall, giggling as she held to my arm, "So, Claudius, you seem to have taken quite the interest in the arts."_

_ I flush. What's the use in denying it? She's my twin- with that comes some sort of telepathic ability, used primarily in torture. She's right. I pretend to be interested in the vibrant colors, mocking the green and blue hues I'd seen weeks earlier. The truth is that the only color I'm interested in is brown. I can't that color out of my head- and I've yet to see it replicated in any of this art. "We don't talk about it..." I mutter._

_ My sister clicks her tongue in habit, before smiling, "Someone fell hard. And fast." _

_ I bump into a vase, watching it slip- "I don't...know what you're talking about..." I say, catching the vase hurriedly._

_ "Of course you don't..." her eyes light up as she turns on her heel, walking off._

_ As I breathe a sigh of relief, trying to catch my balance to replace the vase, I hear another familiar voice, laughter._

_ "So, the part of the legend left untold- Aquarius drops the vase."_

_ The vase crashes and I change to such a deep shade of crimson I feel numb._

_ This is the part where all eyes are on me again. I can scarcely stand it. The art collector wheels, his eyes full of vehemence "You'll pay for that-!" he shouts._

_ I've scarcely the time to fumble through words in my head for an apology before the symphony of her voice intoxicates my brain. She giggles, "Come on," she takes my hand, pulling me. As soon as my feet begin to move, she begins to sprint. _

_ "GET BACK HERE!" But alas, the poor bastard is too fat to run after us. We've escaped. Now, if he doesn't recognize the son of a pontiff, or the daughter of a general- we may manage to make it home with our skins still attached._

_ "You saved me-" I smile as we reach the edge of the city, where people are replaced with trees, and noise replaced with the comfort of silence._

_ She kneels beneath the olive tree, catching her breath, holding her hand to her breast and laughing, "Hah..." she breathes in a laugh, "We all need to be saved."_

_ I assess her features once more, my heart scarcely daring to perform its necessary functions and beat. Her eyes were even more of an eternity when they blazed with fire, playfulness, the thrill and rush of adrenaline. Her hair fell messily around the two stars. Her robe was blue. Did she make it herself? Women didn't wear this type of thing. My eyes shot to her finger...no ring, no token of an admirer. Was all of Rome blind, or was she just this free? She had grasped for the freedom I wanted desperately for myself, and it made me admire her all the more-not that doing that needed any help..._

_ "You know," she interrupts my stargazing, still trying to catch her breath, "Your eyes look almost golden when you're staring at me like that."_

_ "St...staring?" I stumble over my words as she approaches me again. She has no boundaries, no inhibitions. She's lost in my eyes. I'm afraid of this girl. I'm afraid of how my heart reacts when she's near me._

_ "Staring," she assessed before backing away and leaning against the tree. "Are you this creepy with all the girls...or is it just me?" she teases, closing her eyes as a breeze rushed by. I smell roses._

_ "Just you." I said, before brain could stop my mouth. To be fair...my heart argued with my brain...how could she ask such a thing? Anyone could see the spell she'd woven on me, taking control of my every thought, clutching my frantic heart._

_ She blushes silently. If anyone were to be a treasure, golden and perfect- it would be her. The green of my eyes, their golden glint in the sunlight, were a speck in the galaxy that made up Lucilia Caelius. _

_ "We should probably wait for a bit before going back..." she said, after awhile, smiling with her eyes still closed, "He was pretty angry, Aquarius." she teases, giggling a bit more at the memory._

_ "Claudius..." I correct, wondering if she remembered me._

_ "I know," she whispers. "It's Luci."_

_ "You don't like your name?" I find myself intrigued._

_ She smiles again, taking my hand and pulling me away from the city, "Lucilia is fine, but she isn't me." _

_ There is so much I want to know about her. She has me. All of me, I am hers until the end of time. "Eh..." she blushes nervously, looking in each direction, before turning her gaze up at me, "I've never been out of the city. Maybe we should..."_

_ I shake my head, smiling. Finally, something I can show her. "No..." There's too much of the world outside these gates. There's freedom outside these gates...and that's what society tries to take from us. So I'll show her bravery- a new world- and she'll show me how to turn the greyscale into colors I'm opening my eyes to for the first time. _

_ We left the city, as far as we could go, until we reached the ocean. If we hadn't been greeted with its vast glory, we may have continued walking until Italy was scarce but a memory. As fate would have it, the ocean was far enough. We talked for hours about nothing, and about everything, until the day broke into stars. Even then, we were too high on the world to come down to reality_

_ As conversation began to get quiet, and our eyes heavy, we settled on watching the galaxy, away from the city lights. As I lay down, she rest her head in my arms, and I pulled her close to me, her head on the heart that she had claimed. No, now I was never going back. She was home._

_ "Claudius," she said, in her final moments of consciousness, "Can we stay here? Will you stay with me...and hold me while I sleep?"_

_ I held her tighter, "I might not let you go."_

_ "Don't."_

_ My heart and soul melded to hers as I held her sleeping form. We became one. One, away from the life that we would surely have to return to. One, in soul that cared nothing for society's roles._

_ To simply be. To live. To love._

_ And so, I, the foolish little human that I was, began to dream of a world that could never exist._

No matter where a human's soul goes- to heaven, or hell...in the hands of a demon, or beneath the scythe of a death god...the last moments of their lives are beautiful. The cinematic record is only one part of it, breezing by a lifetime of memories in mere minutes, when so much more is easily read in thoughts, and in the eyes of the dying. An empath- someone like me...someone who feels what they feel...sustains these last moments with them. If a human knows that they are dying, they are honest, their last thoughts are the truths they never spoke...this is beautiful. A demon can appreciate the aesthetic, for this is the final seasoning of the soul we've nurtured for so long, and with such deft care.

Most demons feel the closest thing they can consider 'happiness' at this point, comparable with a human, sitting down to an immaculate feast in their honor. It makes most feel whole, and is the only thing satisfying to their now meaningless existences. But...like most other demon characteristics, I don't exhibit this one either.

It's not that I don't find it fascinating- my prey's final moments- I do, truly. But the toll it takes on my pathetic, empathetic heart is not worth the price of an exquisite soul. It wrenches something in me, twisting my gut...breaking my heart. I would honestly just as soon starve. And, so, I've come to be this...a bottom feeder. I can't prey on souls that I feel for...not anymore, and there's a good reason- one that Marius is about to understand all too well.

We're flying overhead now, through the fog. I'm not afraid that he'll see me. As he rows the small boat down the river Styx, his mind is anywhere but on me. I feel his regret, not just for Ciel and his damned soul...but, for...

"...Everything..." I hear the boy, Ciel, murmur.

The boy's tone reflects his defeated soul, and Marius' heart is shattering...crumbling in his body and destroying everything he thought he was. Every notion he had of 'right' and 'wrong', and what his life as a demon should be- he's questioning it now. Absolutes mean nothing, when matters of the heart are involved.

I feel our souls have finally connected again. His soul speaks to mine like the old friends we should have been. _I love you_, he realizes, silently.

Silence resounds as Ciel's heart screams, _Don't let me go. I want to stay with you, I love you._

"...Everything...?" the demon, Sebastian Michaelis, questions, snapping out of his daze. He's trying hard to fight his human emotions and replace them with the coldness he'd exhibited since...then. I don't know at this point whether I wish them upon him, or wish him to stay the demon. Either are equally painful, in different ways. I don't like being wrong, I don't like getting my hopes up. They've all come crashing down and destroyed me too many times. Besides, it's far too late for redemption.

"No. Never mind. Everything isn't important. It's still too soon to matter..."_ It's almost too late, little one. Words left unsaid are the ones that haunt the most._

The thunderheads are moving in, gathering around us for the dismal occasion. The raven thinks it best to evade the demon, and his love, shooting into the sky out of the way of the thunderheads.

The path to the end is dark, dismal, and terrifying, as well it should be. Demons use the Isle of the Dead for this purpose. As with a death god's cinematic record, this is our race's way of showing our contracts what exactly they begged us for. It's our way of saying 'is this beautiful? Is this what you asked for?' As if the fire and brimstone wasn't enough. There's no stopping death, and this is torture...even to watch.

The last moments of life should be spent doing something you love...dying old in your lover's arms, laying in a field of flowers, some poetic words...a finally written novel, a masterpiece painting. Death shouldn't be disappointment, but it often is. Ciel should be lucky though. Even if he died tonight, it would be in the arms of his loved one. That is, if I were that kind.. to save him from the hellish future he faced with whatever outcome this rendered. Sebastian's face would loom on his memory forever as that last moment, even in the depths of hell. Arrogant bastard has to be the last thing anyone has to regret.

"Is the taste of revenge as sweet as you'd hoped it would be?" Marius smiles.

_No._ I answer for myself, rather than the boy. I take no pleasure in what I'm about to do.

The boy's hands shake, "Revenge?" he asks, half-smiling, bitterly, empty as the shell of his body would be soon. "It's truly meaningless, isn't it? I feel...no different...towards the matter, than I did before." Another soul who realized that what we gave wasn't worth the price. Marius always had a way of making death look appealing. _We all came to regret it, little one. _"But, it matters not. I suppose...nothing matters. Not anymore."

Marius cringes, and in his eyes I watch crimson fade to human brown. He looks at the sleeve, which should have carried his missing arm, as if he'd wanted to reach out and hold his precious one. The demon disappears before my eyes. I want to hold my brother in my arms, reassure him. The demon laughs within at such a ridiculous notion.

"...Ciel..." he says so quietly that I am not sure even the boy had heard it. "Nothing, Ciel? Do you...truly...feel this way?"

"_What do you mean it isn't the same, Luci? Look at me! Tell me you truly feel nothing!"_

_ My fingers left marks in her porcelain skin with how roughly I'd grabbed her. I'd recoiled instantly, regretting it._

_ I was so angry I couldn't hear what she said. I didn't want to hear what she said. _

_ "I'm sorry Claudius. I had to kill one of them. I am glad for the time we had. But that's over now. There's no place for that girl in this world."_

_ "No. No. Luci- no. Please. I love that girl. That girl is perfect...she's beautiful, she's everything good in this world. I'll make a place in the world for us- I always promised that, didn't I...I'll fight forever..." My ears rang and I sank to my knees, blood pouring down my face. I didn't even feel it._

_ The demon with black fingernails placed her cold hand on my cheek and smiled at me one last time, "Some battles simply can't be won, you know. It was never...meant to be. You knew that from the beginning."_

_ "No, Luci, that's...that's not..."_

_ "She'd be choking on her tears right now. She always did that. But she's gone. And this is goodbye. To you both."_

"Does it matter what I feel?" I hear my own words come out of Ciel's mouth, "I'll be gone soon, simply a memory...and life will continue on, Sebastian, as it will, and my thoughts will be nothing more than dust." His hand sweeps the river, plucking from it a flower, and his voice softens. "It's a ring..." In the last moments of our lives, the deepest and most desperate desires of our hearts become painstakingly clear.

"How very familiar it looks. Please, allow me," Sebastian replies, taking the flower in his hand. He fumbles with the ring for moments, trying desperately to fix something, to make it right. He should know now that once something's broken, it never gets put back together properly again, never exactly the same...no matter how many times the pieces are cared for, clung to, organized, and glued back together. It's broken. There's no fixing what you've broken...even with the best of intentions.

Ciel reaches up, his hand over Sebastian's. There is love in his touch, and tears clouding his eye. Though his heart is breaking, he is desperately holding onto an illusion that, were it not for my intents, would see him killed tonight, "That must be difficult for you..."

He took the ring, placing it on his thumb, though the look on his face, the longing states that the ring belongs elsewhere, as his heart, too, belongs that distant somewhere.

"I am sorry, Ciel," he's sorry for everything. He's questioning again. "I wanted nothing more than to be the perfect butler for you." Bullshit. He wants more than that, and it's clear as the moon shining down across this tragedy, "Now it seems I've failed you, even with the smallest of tasks."

_You've never been good with matters of the heart._

I hear the boy's tear spill into the river Styx, and the current shifts, as though assessing the flavor of this soul for itself. Sebastian's eyes narrow, claiming it...for now.

"This...flower...does not define us, Sebastian."

No. Nothing as simple as a human promise, a ring, a flower...could define a love that conquered a demon's heart. I believe it.

"I think it suits us."

I remember happiness...and I can't. I can't be a part of the destruction, and I can't watch him destroy his own bliss, failing, as I failed, to hold onto love. It's too much pain, and I feel it all. The raven and I fly on, leaving them behind, for a few moments.

When the raven lands on the Isle of the Dead, the wind picks up, sensing our presence as I change, growing into my human form. My eyes are solid pink. I loathe this place. The memories tear into me and I remember feeling like this for the first time...senses heightened, powers surging through me, terrifying me. I remember this bench. I remember his hand. I remember my brother.

My black fingernails trace the bench, and the pillars as I circle this hell forsaken nightmare, frozen in time. It seems so nostalgic when I remember lessons with my father, so long ago as he spoke of the legends of this place, of the gods of Greece, of Hades, and of the River Styx.

I'd blocked these lessons out, as I'd learned to block out anything to do with any God. Maybe that's why the price was my soul. I breathe in the stagnant air as the rain begins to sprinkle over me.

Those times were so long ago. Were I in Italy, in Rome, I'd recognize little. Nothing has changed here. It's as though I've stepped somewhere that neither heaven, nor hell could touch...a prison as much as this cursed soul of mine. Dreams died here, love died here..._I _died here.

I lay on the bench, staring up at the cold, gray sky, as lightening flashes overhead and raindrops pelt my glasses. It will pass. I wish it wouldn't.

I change quickly into my spider form, as the raven lifts me atop the pillars, and I hide away in waiting, watching the drops surround my body.

I could drown my soul in the rain. Once, when I was human, I'd told her that so long as it rains, we will never be apart. I still feel her in the cold drops...I feel alive, like I had when she'd touched me, being kissed by fire with each drip.

I feel her arms around me, even in such a dismal place as this. She always makes it rain. Every time I stumble, or falter...the sentiment I have left of the human girl I loved comes back in the rain. She reminds me why I'm fighting, and takes my hand, pulling me back to memories of her and I, in another time, when I still believed in fairytales, even with tears the color of death.

She'd wiped them away regardless, her arms tight around my neck, swearing to love me come what may. I remember all of the little things, the soft hum of her voice, the way she'd chase away the demons trying to take what was hers. No one had loved me until Luci loved me in the rain.

Neither of us cared that we were drenched with the downpour. All I cared was that my arms were tight around her, I'd claimed her as my own- my love...my eternity. My mind was made up less than a day after the change. I wouldn't let her slip away from me...no matter what.

_ My hands found hers, slipping once from the rain, still clumsily, like a human...but, I recovered. I entwined our fingers, pressing her gently against the statue standing in the center of our secret place, a garden of beautiful roses- hues of purple and blue, perfect and fitting for the weather...and perfect for her, both so beautiful._

_ I could scarcely pull away, and my heart skipped as I met her eyes. Her cheeks held a soft pink, which I found utterly adorable. I smiled. Her eyes held a love for me that made my heart flutter, beat faster...the feeling, entirely human. I'd sold my soul for an immortal life...nothing else would change. The greatest gift. I was immortal. I was on top of the world. I was in love with the rain._

Thunder claps, bringing me back to my senses as Marius places his lover on his own personal sacrificial alter. This was a different time, and there was work to be done if I ever want the rain to be anything more than a bitter reminder of the dance macabre, the way the world crumbles while I watch it die in my arms.

"So...this is where it ends?" the boy asks.

"Yes."

This is where everything ends.

**Will you be my shoulder when I'm gray and older?  
>Promise me tomorrow starts with you<br>Getting high... running wild among all the stars above...  
>Sometimes it's hard to believe you remember me.<strong>


End file.
